Stop seeking what it is that you should be giving

There was a fable once told about a tiger which was lame, and was fed by hyenas that brought it meat which they found in their daily scavenging. A man who heard this story decided that that sounded like the way he wanted to live his life: and almost starved to death. The moral of the story is that we are meant to be like the hyenas, not the tiger.

In my world I see the truth in the direction to stop seeking what I should be giving; because I am poor in many ways. At various times I have wanted friendship, partnership, praise and recognition. I have wanted help but have been left to do it alone, even in the midst of a great crowd. I wonder now whether others have felt the same things at the same time, perhaps they were waiting for me to notice their need and then act to meet it with them.

This continues to be a dog eat dog world: I wonder whether selflessness has a place in the running of our society or whether those who seeks to be hyenas will end up starving, or as food for the tigers. Scripture is clear in describing servanthood as the preferred lifestyle for Christians; it is the model of Christ. If he could do it, then I should be able to since the same spirit (Spirit) lives in me, but why do I always feel like it’s give give give and then when people see I’m a giver they ask for more? How do I give so much assistance yet never find the help I need, when I need it? Can I truly find if I never seek? No.

The answer is to be the answer, not to deny my requirements but to find them in dialogue. Loneliness is not defeated by selfishness but by community, and community occurs in shared experience, in bearing one another’s burdens. Many feel the way I do; these are the characteristics of my generation. Therefore it should be easy to have my needs met; by meeting the needs of others I am blessed by their response. I make friends by being a friend; but I also earn praise by offering it, and am acclaimed by being personable and therefore becoming known to many.

What then shall I give? Attention for starters, but of the right form. I’ll offer friendship and conversation, and spend time with those who feel overlooked and marginalised. I shall offer partnership; in financial form but also through prayer and follow up with those who I wish to become like, or those who wish to become like me, both as mentor and mentoree. This is the simplest, most important way; I want partners and I have heard it said many times that that is the best way to move on in life: to spend time with those already heading in the direction I desire.